How to stop being a perpetual victim

Why do people choose to have victim mentalities?

“Your complaints, your drama, your victim mentality, your whining, your blaming, and all of your excuses have NEVER gotten you even a single step closer to your goals or dreams. Let go of your nonsense. Let go of the delusion that you DESERVE better and go EARN it! Today is a new day!”
Steve Maraboli, Unapologetically You: Reflections on Life and the Human Experience

Why do some people live a life of drama and victimhood? You know the type. The ones who live in perpetual theatrics. The individuals who just can’t seem to catch a break. Where life is so full of ups and downs and yelling and screaming and blaming and fights and anger and sadness. Where there never seems to be peace and quiet and reflection.

Whew… I’m just exhausted writing those few lines. How in world do people live this life? I think a better question is…why do they choose to live their drama filled life?

To answer this question, I did some investigating and honestly did not come up with an answer that made any sense to me. So I decided instead to not try to explain why certain people decide to live their life being a victim and chose to supply some of the best tips I found on how not to be a perpetual victim and possibly even break their cycle of victimhood.

Here goes:

  1. Decide that you are the boss of you

  2. Take complete responsibility for everything in your life

  3. Turn your focus outward and help some

  4. Show gratitude for your life

  5. Forgive those that you feel have wronged you

  6. Create a new story for yourself

  7. Surround yourself with positive people

  8. Get rid of toxic people

  9. Learn that it’s okay to fail (believe me, I am the Queen of Failures)

  10. Learn that the world does not owe you anything at all – nothing – nada

I personally think that these are pretty valuable and helpful tips for everyone to follow in their daily lives and to even pass on to our children, so they don’t turn out to be a perpetual victim.

Peace, Love and Responsibility!!










The ladies of I am… Magazine 2016

The ladies of I am… Magazine 2016

Please take a moment and help me celebrate the incredibly beautiful and brave women of I am… Magazine 2016.


Reconciliation for the New Year

Start the new year off with a clean slate and a free heart.

Let Nicole inspire you to start the new year off right by forgiving those who have wronged you and in turn reconciling with those you have wronged. Start the new year off with a clean slate and a free heart.

The journey of an Overcomer

Nicole Stromberg, a Kentucky author, shares her journey of dyslexia to published author.

Nicole Stromberg, a Kentucky author, shares her journey of overcoming a life long battle with dyslexia to becoming a first time author at age 40.

The Diary of the 42 year old little girl

I never felt beautiful or girly or worthy or smart or talented. I felt big, unsuccessful, manly, talentless, stupid, and unworthy. Why did I feel this way? Why couldn’t I feel like everyone else did? Why did I continually make bad choices and fail at the choices that I thought was good? Could I blame my childhood? Could I blame my overbearing and insensitive father? Could I blame my first husband, who violently abused and cheated on me?  Or could I blame a culture that encourages us to be self-deprecating and therefore saying the negatives meant they were true? I didn’t know who to blame for my failures and inadequacies. I didn’t know where to go to make it better. All I knew was that I was a lost little girl in a 42 year woman’s body and it was horrific.

I have suffered from clinical depression and anxiety since my early twenties. Were these the root of my problems. Was my unbalanced head to blame for my short comings? Or were they simply an excuse. Were all of the violent words that were hurled at me for so many years to blame for my lack of success? Or were they true since I lived up to all of them at some point in my life and I just couldn’t face the fact that I was fat and nothing and ugly and stupid and would never make anything out of myself? (insert scream) I hate feeling like this. I hate feeling like a fraud. I hate not seeing what other people see. I hate thinking that this attempt at changing the world won’t make a real difference in anyone’s life and that it will simply be another failure to mark down on my log of unsuccessful attempts to make something of myself.

I put on a good front. I do. I appear strong and confident. I appear as if I know what I’m doing. But I don’t. I don’t. I question everything that I do. Everything. Every single day.

Will this magically stop? Will I wake up tomorrow and not let the ugly words from my past affect me?

Probably not.

And this is not attempt to solicit complements or praise. This is an attempt to reach out to other women who feel this way. This is an attempt to be raw, to be truthful , and most of all to be vulnerable to a world that is most of the time determined to take everyone and everything down.

This is how change begins. With the truth.

And I hope that you will take this journey with me. So I can not only share my story with you but hopefully that you will share your story with me.