How do you just let it out?
How do you let down your barriers and not be scared to just let out your inner rock goddess? I don’t know…I have no earthly idea…
I have always been a girl with lots of dreams. A women with lots of desires. A human with lots of vision. And for the most part, I have done what I have wanted to do. I have started my own business. I have lived lots of places. I have always been in a blues band and now I’m even in a rock band. So I thought I was doing my thing until I jokingly mentioned that I wanted to be a rock goddess and a friend said to me that if I really wanted to be a rock goddess (and who doesn’t) I just had to let it out and own it. Uhhh…What? I was completely stunned. It was the first time that someone had actually been serious in a response and given me the idea that I had the option of being a rock goddess (although I am heading towards my 43rd birthday). Could I actually join the ranks of Amy Mann, Lita Ford, Grace Potter, or even Ann Wilson? Is that truly a possibility?
Why so much doubt? A little background would be helpful…
I have been performing since I was a child. Singing, dancing, acting. You name it, I have tried it. It’s my happy place. Talent shows galore… karaoke contests (as an adult) and numerous bands. But I have never really felt comfortable with myself on stage, although I love love love performing. There has always been something that has held me back from really letting go and rocking out. I think apart of it is that I have always been scared to look stupid ( I distinctly remember someone telling that I looked like I was having a seizure during my very first gig that I sang lead in a band). Another part is obsessing over the fact that I’m not 5’6 and size 2 but in fact 5’10 size 12 ( I was actually not hired for a band because I was much taller than the majority of the male members). And the last part is being scared of not being vocally perfect ( because I remember having it pointed out that my vocals were not perfect on higher range songs), so that means always being in control of my voice and not pushing myself out of my comfort zone of alto range. And I know that I shouldn’t pay attention to what others say (but damn, words are so powerful) and I also know that my opinion should be the only one that matters when it comes to my performance. But there will always be apart of me that is scared to just let it go, throw my head back, vibrate my body and scream like the women that I want to be like.
So now that I have identified my reasoning for not being able to let go and own my inner goddess, next I must figure out what steps I need to take in order to achieve my dream of becoming the Ultimate Rock-n-Roll Queen.