My one wish…

At a very young age of 15, I fell for the most popular guy in town he was 23. Before I knew it, he was providing alcohol to me, so that he could take advantage of which he did. He called me a fat, said I had a fat ass and lots of clothes didn’t look good on me. I developed eating disorders, would excessively excercise and anything I would eat I would make my self vomit. I lost weight and quickly. I only weighed 130 pounds when he was calling me names but after I weighed under 100 pounds. At the age of 16 and 2 months I became pregnant. Here I was still a child myself. I convinced my self that the pregnancy probably saved my life. Of course he wanted no part of the pregnancy or our son which was born in February 1993. I worked to provide for him and I, my mom and my sister were great supporters when the shock wore off. I have been in love twice in my 40 years only to be hurt by both. Game playing, mental and controlling. Fortunately I have never been physically abused. I have forgiven and given more chances than these two will ever deserve. I am a giver, I don’t receive well. I have became a very independent woman. I now have a 23 year old son and twin boys who just turned 8. The last year has been very trying for me. I have had two cervical spine surgeries from a work related injury. I have scars on the front of my neck, I have zero self esteem at all. I do not feel beautiful, I don’t feel wanted, I feel like I am being taken advantage of by a lot of people in my life. My one wish is to be loved half of what can give.