Do you ever people watch? Do you notice what people are wearing, wonder who they are talking to on their cellphones or admire a beautiful piece of jewelry? I use to wonder about those things. But as I get older, I no longer marvel at the physical. I ask myself why so many people that I see are miserably unhappy.
As I am a starving artist, I waitress to pay my bills, and being in the service industry gives you a very intimate look into the lives of people. Because nothing is more intimate than a dinner at a restaurant alone with your significant other. Sitting sequestered in a tiny booth or stand alone table really forces you to show your true feelings towards a person. You are either enamored with the person sitting across the table from you or you are bored out of your mind and can’t wait to get your main course so you can finish up and go home to your separate living spaces. And what I observe is incredibly said…
The majority of people that I see are incredibly miserable. They are either are on their cellphones ignoring the others at their table or staring off into to space dreaming of the other places they would rather be. And this has apparently become the norm and it’s just not young people, its people of all ages.
Why do we feel the need to stay in relationships that don’t bring us the utmost joy? Why aren’t we spending our incredibly value time with people who emotionally and physically stimulate us? I don’t know, but it’s becoming an all too common occurrence.
According to numerous psychological studies the reasoning behind staying in a bad relationship is pretty simple:
- Low self-esteem – People feel as if they don’t deserve better
- The fear of loneliness – That’s one is pretty self explanatory
- Invested time – I’ve been here this long, might as well stay a little longer
- Money – This one is powerful because most people fear the unknown of financial insecurity
- Stuff – My house, my tv, my car and on and on
- Kids – Because it’s better to have 2 miserable parents who are together than 2 happy parents apart
- Fear of the unknown – Will I find someone else, is there something better, can I make it on my own
- Manipulation – Your partner is telling you that you won’t find anyone better
- Laziness – You’ve become so comfortable in your unhappiness, why make the effort
- Fear of conflict- Let’s face it, no one likes conflict
Don’t get me wrong, I think all of these reasons are valid. But I also think that all of these reason’s are bullshit. They are excuses to be unhappy. Excuses to not live your life to the fullest. Excuses to be a martyr. Excuses to look at your phone when you should be looking adoringly into the eyes of the person sitting across from you.
So do yourself a favor, find someone that makes you want to put your cellphone down.